STICK IN THE SPOKES

Aug 13

Written By Sabrina Morris

“a stick in the spokes”

proverb A disruption, impediment, or interference of some kind for one's plans or progress.

LET’S TALK ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO *BE* THE STICK IN THE SPOKES.

FOR ONE - IT HURTS LIKE HELL.

LET ME PREFACE WITH THIS FIRST…

THERE’S A RECURRENT ASSUMPTION PEOPLE MAKE ABOUT ME AND MY LIFE BEFORE THEY TRULY GET TO KNOW MY HISTORY, MY STORY, AND THE DAILY EFFORT I MAKE.

MY REASONABLE WEIGHT-RANGE AND GENERAL ATHLETICISM HAS OFTEN BEEN DOWN-SIZED AND ATTESTED TO THIS WILD ASSUMPTION THAT ‘I’VE ALWAYS BEEN FIT’ - ‘I’VE ALWAYS BEEN HEALTHY’ - ‘I’VE ALWAYS BEEN INTO FITNESS’- ‘I WORKOUT *ALL* THE TIME’.

LET’S BE SUPER CLEAR… THIS ASSUMPTION IS A DETRIMENTAL DISREGARD OF ALL THE EFFORT I’VE PUT IN OVER THE YEARS BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY.

I AM - BY VERY DEFINITION - A STICK IN THE SPOKES.

SO PLEASE, DON’T EVER JUST ASSUME FIT PEOPLE ARE MAGICALLY BLESSED INTO FITNESS BY FATE. AND ON THAT NOTE, DON’T EVER ASSUME THAT PEOPLE WITHIN REASONABLE WEIGHT-RANGES ARE AUTOMATICALLY HEALTHY. OR THAT THIN FOLKS ARE “SO LUCKY!”.

YOU CAN, HOWEVER, ASSUME YOU KNOW NOTHING! BECAUSE IN ALL REALITY - YOU DON’T KNOW THEIR STORY!

IT IS TRUE THAT WE ALL HAVE OUR UNIQUE SET OF GENETIC PREDISPOSITIONS, SURE. AND YES, GENETICS MOSTLY DETERMINE THINGS LIKE HEIGHT, BONE STRUCTURE, WHERE WE TYPICALLY STORE FAT AND IN WHAT AREAS WE LOSE IT FROM FIRST. BUT OUR GENETIC CODE ACCOUNTS FOR A LOT LESS OF OUR LIFE’S OUTCOMES BY OUR 30-40-50+ YEARS THAN PEOPLE THINK. SO WHAT HOLDS HIGHER RESPONSIBILITY? EPIGENETICS. IN ESSENCE, HOW OUR GENES EXPRESS THEMSELVES.

ep·i·ge·net·ics

nounBIOLOGY

the study of changes in organisms caused by modification of gene expression rather than alteration of the genetic code itself.

"Epi-"means on or above in Greek, and "epigenetic" describes factors beyond the genetic code. Epigenetic changes are modifications to DNA that regulate whether genes are turned on or off. These modifications are attached to DNA and do not change the sequence of DNA building blocks. (What Is Epigenetics, 2021)

“Your genes play an important role in your health, but so do your behaviors and environment, such as what you eat and how physically active you are. Epigenetics is the study of how your behaviors and environment can cause changes that affect the way your genes work. Unlike genetic changes, epigenetic changes are reversible and do not change your DNA sequence, but they can change how your body reads a DNA sequence.” (What Is Epigenetics, 2021)

EXERCISE + EPIGENETICS:

“Overall, exercise has been shown to alter blood levels of several miRNAs, and this indicates that exercise can use these epigenetic modulators to regulate communication between the brain and peripheral organs.” (Epigenetics of Physical Exercise, n.d.)

“Both acute and chronic exercise interventions have been shown to induce a number of epigenetic modifications within the exercise host.” (Impact of Parental Exercise on Epigenetic Modifications Inherited by Offspring: A Systematic Review, 2019)

“Environmental influences, such as a person's diet and exposure to pollutants, can impact the epigenome. Epigenetic modifications can be maintained from cell to cell as cells divide and, in some cases, can be inherited through the generations. A common type of epigenetic modification is called DNA methylation.” (What Is Epigenetics, 2021)

SO WHAT POINT AM I TRYING TO MAKE?

I am writing this in attempt to offer you hope for your life + your future!

WHILE YOU CAN’T CHANGE YOUR GENETICS, YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR EPIGENETICS.

THAT’S POWER.

WHEN I REALIZED, MANY YEARS AGO, THAT I DIDN’T HAVE TO LIVE OUT THE SAME, RECURRENT, GENERATIONAL STORYLINE AS THOSE BEFORE ME - I FELT EXTREMELY HOPEFUL! I FINALLY FELT SOME POWER OVER MY LIFE, MY HEALTH, AND MY HAPPINESS.

BUT NOT TO SAY THAT IT DOESN'T COME AT A HIGH PRICE.

THE PRICE TO PAY IS PAINFUL; YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO JUMP INTO THE SPOKES, AND BRING THE CYCLE TO A HALT.

OUCH IS RIGHT.

BUT I PROMISE IT’S WORTH IT.

I COME FROM A LOOONG LINE OF PEOPLE WHO BATTLE(D) WITH MENTAL HEALTH, ADDICTION, AND A PLETHORA OF DISEASE (MANY OF WHICH, PREVENTABLE BY LIFESTYLE + DAILY CHOICE).

I HAD KNOWN, FOR MANY MANY YEARS, THAT I WAS THE BLACK SHEEP OF MY FAMILY. I KNEW I WOULD EVENTUALLY TAKE A SHARP LEFT TURN, AND CREATE A LIFE FOR MYSELF THAT WOULD LOOK NOTHING LIKE WHAT WE HAD KNOWN.

IN 2011 I BEGAN MY EDUCATION IN HEALTH + FITNESS, AND BY THE RIPE AGE OF 19, I BECAME THE STICK IN THE SPOKES.

THE HOPE SHOULD ALWAYS BE, THAT EVERY GENERATION DOES BETTER THAN THE ONE BEFORE. AND SO, I DIDN’T WANT TO REPEAT THE MISTAKES MY PARENTS AND THEIR PARENTS HAD MADE. I DIDN’T WANT MY FUTURE CHILDREN TO SUFFER IN THE WAYS THAT I HAD.

I WANTED CHANGE.

I *NEEDED* CHANGE.

So, I became the change.

LOOKING BACK ON MY JOURNEY, I WOULD ARGUE THAT ONE OF THE HARDEST STEPS ABOUT BEING THE STICK IN THE SPOKES, IS GETTING YOURSELF *OUTSIDE THE CIRCLE*.

WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO ESCAPE A PARTICULAR “WORLD” IN SEARCH OF SOMETHING BETTER… YOU HAVE TO FIRST REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE ONE YOU EXIST IN. REALY, THE ONLY ONE YOU KNOW.

EXPECT RESISTANCE FROM OTHERS AND BACKLASH.

BY NATURE, WE HATE CHANGE.

CHANGE IS INITIALLY PERCEIVED AS A THREAT. SO ESSENTIALLY, [ YOU ] BECOME THE TREAT TO THE WORLD YOU’RE TRYING TO ESCAPE FROM.

SUCK IT UP - AND SO BE IT.

TAKE THE PUNCHES (BUT ALSO RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES). TAKE THE SHIT TALKING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT - ‘CAUSE REMEMBER - THEY’RE THREATENED BY YOU. TAKE THE ATTEMPTS AT SHAMING YOU FOR WANTING TO DO AND BE BETTER.

TAKE IT ALL WITH COURAGE, BECAUSE I PROMISE IT DOESN’T LAST FOREVER. (WELL, THERE MIGHT BE A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE WHO NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR LEAVING THEM BEHIND. BUT YOU EVENTUALLY WON’T CARE! -YAY PROGRESS + PUTTING YOUR NEEDS FIRST.)

SOME OF THE WEIRDEST SHIT WE EXPERIENCE WHEN TRANSITIONING FROM TEENAGE TO ADULTHOOD, IS THE REALIZATION THAT OTHER PEOPLE AND OTHER FAMILIES HAVE DONE THINGS EXTREMELY DIFFERENT FROM YOU. YOU START TO OBSERVE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT UPBRINGINGS, BELIEF SYSTEMS, TRADITIONS ETC.

I CALL THIS THE “CLASH OF CULTURE”.

WE TEND TO THINK OF CULTURE AS THE PRACTICES BELONGING TO SOCIETY AS A WHOLE, OR A LARGE RELIGIOUS STRUCTURE. WE DON’T TYPICALLY VIEW EACH HOUSE HOLD OR SMALL CIRCLE OF PEOPLE AS HAVING THEIR OWN “CULTURE”. BUT IT’S TRUE!

cul·ture

noun

1. the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively.
"20th century popular culture"
2. the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group.
"Caribbean culture"

EVERY HOUSEHOLD + FAMILY SYSTEM HAS THEIR OWN “CULTURE”.

ALLOW ME TO SHARE A GLIMPSE INTO MINE.

THE [NEGATIVE] CULTURE ASPECTS OF MY FAMILY SYSTEM INCLUDE(D):

UNHEALED TRAUMA THAT CONTINUOUSLY GOT SWEPT UNDER THE RUG, GENERATION AFTER GENERATION

ALCOHOL + CIGARETTE ADDICTIONS (PUT BEFORE THE PEOPLE WE LOVE)
INACTIVITY BEYOND YOUTH SPORTS
LACK OF EFFECTIVE, HEART-FELT COMMUNICATION
ON GOING CHAOS AND OVERSTIMULATION
RAGE + ANGER AS AN ACCEPTABLE WAY TO EXPRESS DEEPER EMOTIONS
BLAME GAME + VICTIMHOOD

NO FUCKING SUPRISE I NEEDED CHANGE, RIGHT?

I WAS SO TIRED OF FEELING SECOND TO MY FAMILY’S ADDICTIONS. I WAS TIRED OF SUFFERING IN SILENCE. I WAS TIRED OF DOING THE SAME OLD SHIT, WEEKEND AFTER WEEKEND. A DECADE HAD PASSED, AND NOTHING CHANGED.

I WAS QUITE PHILOSOPHICAL AND HEART-LEAD BY EARLY TEENAGE YEARS. I FOUND DOUBLE MEANING IN ALL THINGS. I WAS OFTEN QUITE MOVED BY QUOTES AND POETICS.

SOMETHING THAT HIT ME HARD AND SITS WITH ME STILL:

“STAGNATION IS DEATH”

I KNEW THAT IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO GET MOVING IN ORDER TO FEEL ALIVE AGAIN.

AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO GET MOVING - THAN TO GET MOVING.

THE LAUNCH OF MY FITNESS + HEALTH CAREER WAS, BY NO COINCIDENCE AT ALL, THE LAUNCH OF MY LIFE.

ONCE I FINALLY BROKE THE BARRIER, AND FOUND MYSELF ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING BACK IN… I COULDN’T BELIEVE THE SHIT I ONCE THOUGHT TO BE “NORMAL”.

THIS IS THE THING WITH CULTURAL NORMS… THEY DON’T ALWAYS MAKE SENSE TO THE PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THE CULTURE. HENCE THE ABSOLUTE IMPORTANCE OF QUESTIONING EVERYTHING WE ARE TAUGHT TO BELIEVE (NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRUST THE TEACHER).

How To Break The Barrier:

CURIOSITY
COACHABILITY
LEARNING INITIATIVE
CHANGE YOUR TOP 5

IT STARTS WITH A THOUGHT – AND THAT THOUGHT REVOLVES AROUND CURIOSITY.

QUESTIONING YOUR BELIEFS, YOUR UPBRINGING, THE CULTURAL “NORMS” OF YOUR FAMILY SYSTEM ETC. YOU HAVE TO GET CURIOUS ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU ARE, AND THE WAY THAT YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN STRUCTURED UP TO THAT VERY MOMENT.

BECOMING OPEN THE THOUGHT THAT - THERE ARE DIFFERENT WAYS OF LIVING - IS THE VERY FIRST STEP IN MOVING TOWARDS SOMETHING NEW.

NEXT, CONSIDER THIS IDEA:

“WISE PEOPLE KNOW THEY KNOW NOTHING AT ALL.”

—SOCRATES

YOU HAVE TO LET GO OF WHAT YOU *THINK* YOU KNOW.

APPROACH NEW PEOPLE AND EXPERIENCES WITH THE NOTION THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM OR IT. CREATE SPACE. THIS MINDSET HELPS MOVE YOUR BIASES ASIDE (THOUGH NEVER COMPLETELY), AND GIVES THE STAGE FOR FOLKS + LIFE TO TEACH YOU THINGS YOU COULD HAVE NEVER OTHERWISE LEARNED ON YOUR OWN.

REMAIN CURIOUS ABOUT THEIR STORIES, THEIR TALES, THEIR EXPERIENCES, AND THEIR TRUTHS. (THEN QUESTION THEM!)

IN ORDER TO BREAK THE BARRIER OF YOUR FAMILIAR WORLD, YOU WILL HAVE TO INCREASE YOUR COACHABILITY.

LIFE IS FULL OF LESSONS.

SO ARE OTHER PEOPLE.

BUT IF YOU’RE DEFENSIVE, JUDGMENTAL, OPINIONATED, OR CLOSED OFF TO NEW IDEAS — YOU’RE SHUTTING DOORS ON WHAT THE UNIVERSE IS TRYING TO OFFER YOU.

YOU HAVE TO BE HUMBLY RECEPTIVE.

BUT DON’T JUST WAIT FOR LIFE TO TEACH YOU LESSONS.

INCREASE YOUR INITIATIVE FOR LEARNING!!!

TAKE YOUR NEWFOUND SENSE OF CURIOSITY AND EXPLORE THE WORLD.

READ BOOKS YOU’D NEVER HAVE TYPICALLY REACHED FOR BEFORE.
FIND SOME AUDIOBOOKS / PODCASTS THAT DISCUSS THINGS YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW EXISTED.
JOIN FACEBOOK GROUPS ABOUT THINGS YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.
VOLUNTEER WITH ORGANIZATIONS SO OUTSIDE YOUR NORMAL ROUTINE.
NETWORK WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD COMPLETELY DIFFERENT UPBRINGINGS FROM YOU.
LEARN ABOUT DIFFERENT CULTURES ACROSS THE GLOBE.
EXPLORE SPIRITUALITY.

MY NEXT PIECE OF ADVICE (WHICH WILL LIKELY HAPPEN IF YOU’RE EXPLORING THE ABOVE), IS CHANGE YOUR TOP 5.

“You're the average of the five people spend the most time with.”

—JIM ROHN

WHO DO YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH? WHO ARE YOUR TOP 5?

IF YOU’RE SPENDING THE MOST TIME WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE JUDGEMENTAL, ARGUMENTATIVE, ADDICTS, LAZY, PESSIMISTIC, PLAY VICTIM TO LIFE… GUESS WHAT – YOU’RE THAT PERSON TOO, IN SOME VARYING DEGREE.

IS THAT WHO YOU WANT TO BE IN LIFE?

CHANGE YOUR TOP 5.

THESE ARE THE EXACT WAYS I BROKE MY BARRIER; HOW I STOPPED THE CYCLICAL PATTERNS FROM PLAYING OUT IN MY LIFE.

FOR YEARS, IT WAS A DAILY FIGHT. BUT EVENTUALLY I MOVED SO FAR AWAY (1200 MILES TO BE EXACT), FROM THE CIRCLE I WORKED SO HARD TO GET OUT OF, THAT IT’S NO LONGER A STRUGGLE (*MOST DAYS).

I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY CHANGED THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF MY LIFE, AND THEREFORE THE TRAJECTORY OF MY CHILD’S LIFE. AND IT’S MY HOPE THAT HE GROWS UP TO DO EVEN BETTER THAN I DID FOR THE SAKE OF HIS LIFE, AND POSSIBLY HIS CHILDREN’S LIVES.

NOW, I’M NOT SAYING YOU HAVE TO MOVE TO A DIFFERENT COUNTRY TO START ANEW. BUT YOU *DO* ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO CREATE SPACE BETWEEN YOU AND THE WORLD YOU’RE LEAVING. I WILL SAY, THOUGH, THAT PHYSICAL SPACE TRULY HELPS EASE THE PROCESS.

ALLOW ME TO EMPHASIZE:

Brace for impact!

THIS KINDA CHANGE HURTS. IT TAKES COURAGE, PERSISTENCE, AND A WHOLE TON OF MENTAL TOUGHNESS.

BUT IF YOU WANT CHANGE BAD ENOUGH…

IF YOU *NEED* CHANGE…

IT IS INARGUABLY WORTH IT.

References

Epigenetics of physical exercise. (n.d.). Wikipedia. Retrieved August 13, 2023, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epigenetics_of_physical_exercise

Impact of parental exercise on epigenetic modifications inherited by offspring: A systematic review. (2019, November 23). NCBI. Retrieved August 13, 2023, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6874781/

What is Epigenetics? (n.d.). CDC. Retrieved August 13, 2023, from https://www.cdc.gov/genomics/disease/epigenetics.htm

What is epigenetics. (2021, June 11). MedlinePlus. Retrieved August 13, 2023, from https://medlineplus.gov/genetics/understanding/howgeneswork/epigenome/

Sabrina Morris https://www.sabrinamorrishealthcoaching.com