SHRINKING SHADOWS
“I DIDN’T REALIZE SO MANY THINGS WERE WRONG WITH ME UNTIL I STARTED WORKING WITH YOU!?”
IT WAS SAID WITH A CHUCKLE.
BUT IT HAD A VERY SERIOUS UNDERTONE TO IT.
I SHOULD JUST GO AHEAD AND WARN EVERY NEW CLIENT:
“It’s going to get worse before it get’s better!”
BECAUSE IT ALWAYS DOES.
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD EVERYTHING GET WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO WORK WITH ME (OR ANY HOLISTIC HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL?)
BECAUSE OUR MAIN OBJECTIVE IS TO SHRINK YOUR SHADOWS.
SHRINKING SHADOWS MEANS BRINGING THINGS TO LIGHT.
THE UGLY.
THE EMBARRASSING.
THE SECRETS + DENIAL.
THE SKELETONS.
THE AVOIDANCE.
THE FEARS.
THE VULNERABILITIES.
EVERYTHING MUST COME TO LIGHT.
*YOU CANNOT HEAL WHAT YOU DON’T REVEAL*.
BY THE TIME SOMEONE MAKES THE CONSCIOUS DECISION TO REACH OUT TO ME FOR A CONSULTATION, THEY KNOW - DEEP IN THEIR HEART - THAT SOMETHING’S GOTTA CHANGE BECAUSE LIFE AS THEY KNOW IT ISN’T MAKING THEM HAPPY OR HEALTHY.
HOWEVER, NOBODY REALLY KNOWS HOW MUCH OF THEIR LIFE *ACTUALLY* NEEDS TENDING TO.
PEOPLE OFTEN COME TO ME WITH THE BELIEF THAT, “IF I JUST ADD SOME EXERCISE INTO MY WEEKLY ROUTINE, ALL MY PROBLEMS WILL DISSOLVE! “
BUT IT IS SO MUCH MORE COMPLEX THAN THAT!!!
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I’D LOVE TO BE IN THE MIND OF A NEW CLIENT LEAD DURING MY CONSULTATION PROCESS.
I IMAGINE THEY’RE ASKING THEMSELVES THINGS LIKE,
“
WHY THE HECK DOES SHE CARE ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP STATUS?
WHY THE HECK DOES SHE CARE SO MUCH ABOUT MY WORK HOURS?
WHY THE HECK DOES SHE CARE SO MUCH THAT MY PARENTS OFFERED ME FAST FOOD AS A REWARD FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR AS A CHILD?
WHY THE HECK DOES SHE CARE THAT I’VE HAD 3 MISCARRIAGES?
“
Everything.
Is.
Inter-.
Related.
AND OVER TIME – EVERY CLIENT WHO HAS STUCK AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE CHANGES IN LIFE - UNDENIABLY UNDERSTANDS WHAT THAT MEANS.
BUT IN TRUTH: IT TAKES AN UNWAVERING-COMMITMENT TO WORK THROUGH THE EXTREME DISCOMFORTS THAT COME WITH CHANGE.
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I WANT YOU TO TAKE A MINUTE OR TWO RIGHT NOW TO THINK ABOUT EACH LISTED HYPOTHETICAL (YET HIGHLY REALISTIC) SCENARIO BELOW, AND PLAY OUT - IN YOUR MIND - HOW EACH ONE WOULD HAVE A DIRECT IMPACT ON YOUR EXERCISE REGIMEN AND EATING HABITS:
YOU GOT FIRED FROM YOUR JOB
YOUR CAR BROKE DOWN AND YOU DON’T HAVE THE MONEY TO REPAIR IT
YOU HAVE A MAJOR LOSS IN YOUR FAMILY
YOUR PARTNER OF 10 YEARS HAS AN AFFAIR ON YOU AND TELLS YOU THEY’RE LEAVING YOU FOR THE AFFAIR PARTNER
YOU BREAK A BONE / INCUR AND INJURY OF SOME SORT
YOU HATE YOUR JOB WITH EVERY CELL IN YOUR BODY
YOUR FRIENDS JUST WANT TO EAT OUT AND DRINK ALCOHOL
YOU WERE CONSTANTLY CRITICIZED FOR BEING MILDLY OVERWEIGHT AS A CHILD
YOUR PARENTS BRIBED + REWARDED YOU WITH FOOD
YOU WERE ON A RESTRICTIVE DIET AT AGE 14
YOU HAVE PCOS, ENDOMETRIOSIS, OR JUST FOUND OUT YOU DON’T OVULATE AND CANNOT BEAR CHILDREN OF YOUR OWN
YOU SUFFER FROM INSOMNIA OR ANY OTHER INVISIBLE, CHRONIC, LIFE-ALTERING DISEASE/DISORDERS
… DO YOU STILL BELIEVE THAT JUST BY ADDING IN SOME EXERCISE, YOUR PROBLEMS WILL * POOF * - DISSAPEAR?
NO, ME NEITHER.
*CUE: THE NEED FOR DEEP SHADOW WORK*
THIS IS PRECISELY WHY - IT NEEDS TO GET WORSE BEFORE ANYTHING CAN IMPROVE.
WE HAVE TO BE PAINFULLY HONEST WITH OURSELVES IN ALL AREAS OF LIFE.
OUR RELATIONSHIPS, OUR FINANCIAL SITUATIONS, OUR CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, OUR DISORDERED-EATING HABITS // EATING DISORDERS, OUR BODY DYSMORPHIA, THE BULLYING WE EXPERIENCES AS YOUNG CHILDREN, THE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR PARENTS, THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES…
ALL OF THESE THINGS DIRECTLY INFLUENCE YOUR ABILITY TO CREATE POSITIVE, MEANINGFUL, SUSTAINABLE CHANGE IN LIFE.
I KNOW IT’S EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND THE WAYS THAT YOUR HOME/WORK LIFE ARE RELATED TO THE SQUATS YOU WANT TO DO… ESPECIALLY SINCE MOST PEOPLE USE THE GYM + EXERCISING AS A FORM OF ESCAPISM…
…BUT WITH TIME, YOU TOO, WILL UNDERSTAND THE CONNECTIVITY. THERE’S NO DENYING THE INFLUENCE WORK + LIFE HAVE OVER OUR CHOICES AND OVERALL HEALTH. EVERY SINGLE INSTANCE FROM OUR DAYS HAS EFFECT OVER THE SMALL CHOICES THAT PRESENT FOLLOWING.
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THE REALITY IS…
ALL NEW CLIENTS HAVE MASSIVE SHADOWS
SHADOWS ARE THERE TO PROTECT US - OR SO WE THINK.
WE CONVINCE OURSELVES THAT IF WE CAN’T SEE IT, IT MUST NOT EXIST.
YEARS GO BY BEFORE OUR SHADOWS BECOME SO FULL OF THE THINGS WE DISLIKE AND DENY, THAT EVENTUALLY THEY COME CREEPING UP ON US. OUR SHADOWS STEP ON THE BACK OF OUR HEELS AND CAUSE US TO STRIP AND FALL.
SOMETIMES WE CAN CATCH OURSELVES WITH A SMIDGE TRACE OF GRACE. SOMETIMES WE EAT SH*T ON THE CONCRETE.
AND THERE’S NO TELLING WHEN IT’LL HAPPEN - SINCE OUR SHADOWS ARE DARK, BLACK, AND KEEP EVERYTHING OUT OF SIGHT.
SOME FOLKS GET A FEW YEARS. OTHER DECADES.
BUT NOBODY GETS THROUGH ALL OF LIFE WITHOUT THEIR SHADOWS CATCHING UP TO THEM.
Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.
– Carl Jung.
THIS IS WHERE I COME IN.
WHILE I CANNOT DO THE SHADOW WORK FOR YOU,
I HOPE TO SHOW YOU YOUR OWN LIGHT.
IT IS MY JOB TO REMIND YOU OF YOUR CAPABILITIES, YOUR POTENTIAL, YOUR POWER, YOUR STRENGTH, YOUR BEAUTY, YOUR ABILITY TO EXTEND GRACE AND FORGIVENESS TOWARDS YOUR SHORT COMINGS + MISTAKES.
I HAVE DONE (AND CONTINUE TO DO) MY OWN SHADOW WORK.
SOME DAYS ARE BEAUTIFULLY LIT.
OTHER DAYS – SOMTIMES WEEKS… MONTHS – ARE DARK AND DIM.
NONETHELESS, I KNOW MY LIGHT.
I KNOW MY PURPOSE, AND I SEE THE VALUE IN MY ABILITY TO SHOW OTHERS * THEIR * OWN LIGHT.
THAT’S WHY I DO WHAT I DO.
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POSSESSING THE JOB-SPECIFIC SKILL TO TEACH SOMEONE HOW TO PERFORM A LUNGE, OR A PUSH-UP?
THAT’S EASY WORK.
SHOWING PEOPLE THE POWER OF THEIR OWN LIGHT?
NOW THAT TOOK 10 YEARS AND HUNDREDS OF CLIENTS TO DEVELOP.
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CLIENTS OFTEN THINK THEY’RE COMING TO ME EXCLUSIVELY FOR EXERCISE GUIDANCE AND FOOD EDUCATION. AND WHILE THEY ARE… I KNOW THAT THEY’RE *REALLY* COMING TO ME BECAUSE THEY WANT TO DEVELOP A SENSE OF SELF-LOVE.
THEY WANT TO FORGIVE THE OLD PARTS OF THEMSELVES AND MOVE FORWARD.
THEY WANT THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE THEIR LIGHT IN LIFE AGAIN. BECAUSE SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY, THEY BECAME CONSUMED BY THEIR OVERFLOWING SHADOW.
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Perhaps you’re not ready to commit to my services just yet, and that’s okay! But maybe you’re ready to do some shadow work at home…
Here are 100 journal prompts to get you started…
https://www.scienceofpeople.com/shadow-work-prompts/#100-shadow-work-prompts
