THE POWER OF SHOWING UP [HUMAN]

I WANT TO SHARE AN EXPERIENCE I HAD A FEW YEARS AGO WORKING AT A COMMERCIAL CHAIN GYM - WILL KEEP ANONYMOUS. IT WAS THE PIVOTAL MOMENT WHEN I REALIZED I WAS TRYING TO EXIST IN A SPACE THAT WASN’T MEANT FOR ME.

WE WERE AT A REGIONAL MANAGER/TRAINER MEETING. THE ROOM WAS FULL OF 30 SOME TRAINERS AND FITNESS MANAGERS. I MYSELF, AT THAT TIME, WAS HIRED ON TO BE A FITNESS MANAGER FOR THE COMMERCIAL CHAIN, RESPONSIBLE FOR HIRING AND DEVELOPING AN ENTIRE TEAM OF TRAINERS FROM THE GROUND UP. THEY LITERALLY FIRED EVERY SINGLE STAFF MEMBER - WITHOUT MY KNOWING - THEN THREW ME INTO THIS OLD, BEATEN DOWN (NEGLECTED STEP CHILD) LOCATION AND GAVE ME THE HEAVY TASK OF BUILDING A TEAM OF PEOPLE CAPABLE OF POSITIVELY CHANGING PEOPLE’S LIVES.

HUGE FKN TASK.

WE WERE GOING AROUND THE ROOM, EACH SAYING 1-3 THINGS WE VALUED IN A POTENTIAL HIRE. I WAS ONE OF THE LAST COACHES TO SPEAK, SO BY MY TURN, THE ANSWERS WERE STARTING TO GET INCREDIBLY REPETITIVE. PEOPLE WERE REACHINGGG. “HIGHLY-EDUCATED, SPORTS BACKGROUND, PUNCTUAL, PROFESSIONAL.” YADA YADA YADA - DUH. OBVIOUSLY THOSE ARE REQUIREMENTS OF THE JOB. I REMEMBER ROLLING MY EYES THINKING ‘THIS IS SO FUCKING POINTLESS. WHY TF DID I DRIVE AN HOUR TO THIS STUPID MEETING.’

I WILL NEVER FORGET THE WAY THE ROOM LAUGHED AT ME WHEN I GAVE MY ANSWER.

HERE’S WHAT I SAID: I WANT SOMEONE HUMAN.

THE ENTIRE ROOM CHUCKLED AND WHISPERS SHOT OFF.

WAS I HUMILIATED? NAAHHH. I WAS QUICK TO REALIZE THEY WEREN’T MY FOLKS. THESE WEREN’T THE COACHES *I* WOULD EVER HIRE IF I WERE ON A FITNESS AND HEALTH JOURNEY, IN SEARCH OF MY LEADER.

I QUIT SHORTLY AFTER.

LISTEN, HAVING AN IMPRESSIVE RESUME IS EASY.

BEING AN IMPRESSIVE HUMAN? THAT’S HARD AS FUCK.

AND IF YOU CAN’T TESTIFY TO THAT TRUTH, YOU PROBABLY AREN’T ONE.

COACHES, LISTEN UP…

NOBODY WANTS TO HIRE A PERSON WHO IS SEEMINGLY PERFECT. (*AT LEAST NOT THE KIND OF CLIENT WHO’S TRULY IN TOUCH WITH THEMSELVES, EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT, AND LOOKING FOR SUSTAINABLE CHANGE.)

THE ONES WHO ARE LOOKING TO OVERHAUL THEIR LIFE WANT TO HIRE A COACH THEY CAN RELATE TO.

VULNERABILITY IS THE GATEWAY TO HUMAN CONNECTION.

WHEN A NEW CLIENT ENTERS THE GYM THEY ARE FEELING VULNERABLE AS FUCK.

WHEN A COACH HAS THIS CURATED SOCIAL MEDIA FEED OR STRAIGHT UP FRONTS, FACE TO FACE, IT ONLY *INCREASES THE GAP*.

NEW, POTENTIAL CLIENTS ALREADY FEEL A HUGE FUCKING GAP BETWEEN THEMSELVES AND THE COACH SITTING IN FRONT OF THEM, AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON ALREADY ON THE GYM FLOOR.

A GOOD COACH KNOWS HOW TO BRIDGE THAT GAP!

I MAKE A POINT EVERY SINGLE WEEK TO SHOW UP TO MY SESSIONS AND SHARE SOME PIECE OF WHAT HAS MADE ME HUMAN LEADING UP TO THAT VERY MOMENT. MAYBE IT HAPPENED ON THE WEEKEND BEFORE, MAYBE THE MONDAY, OR MAYBE THE MORNING OF THAT SESSION. IN ANY CASE, I SHARE IT.

I ALSO SHOW UP FREQUENTLY ONLINE TO SHARE GLIMPSES INTO MY LIFE THAT TRULY SHOWCASE HOW IMPERFECT I AM, AND IT IS.

I HAVE BEEN ON MY OWN HEALTH ENDEAVOR FOR 12 YEARS AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN “PERFECT” AT ANY POINT.

THE GOAL IS NEVER PERFECTION BECAUSE *HELLO* — IT ISN’T POSSIBLE!

I HAVE HAD HUNDREDS OF CLIENTS ACROSS THE LAST 10 YEARS TELL ME HOW MUCH THEY VALUE MY REALNESS. IT HELPS THEM FEEL SEEN, HEARD, COMFORTED, AND IT HELPS THEM SILENCE THE SHAME-BATTLES THEY’RE HAVING WITHIN THEMSELVES [ EVERY FREAKING DAY ].

CURATING YOUR LIFE TO SEEM ‘ALL PUT TOGETHER’ DANGEROUSLY INCREASES THE AMOUNT OF SHAME PEOPLE EXPERIENCE AND PLACE ON THEMSELVES.

DOES THAT FIT THE JOB DESCRIPTION OF A HEALTH AND WELLNESS COACH? TO INCREASE LEVELS OF SHAME IN OTHERS?

ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT.

SO MAYBE THE ROOM CHUCKLED AT MY RESPONSE BECAUSE THEY WERE SIMPLY CAUGHT OFF GUARD BY HOW BLATANTLY OBVIOUS IT SEEMED. DUH – OF COURSE I’M HIRING A HUMAN. I MEAN A GOAT WOULD BE COOL BUT I WAS WILLING TO SETTLE ON A HUMAN FOR THE SAKE OF JOB SECURITY LOL.

BUT I REALLY FELT THAT A LOT OF THE COACHES IN THAT ROOM LACKED THE EMOTIONAL CAPACITY TO GRASP WTF I WAS TRYING TO RELAY.

I’VE BEEN DOING THIS A LONG TIME.

IT IS MY ANECDOTAL EXPERIENCE (WHICH I THINK IS WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD) THAT I HAVE THE ABSOLUTE BEST CONVERSION AND RETENTION *BECAUSE* I SHARE THE IMPERFECTIONS OF MY OWN JOURNEY - STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GATE.

AND I GUARANTEE MY CLIENTS WILL VOUCH FOR THIS (I’VE ASKED).

I BET YOUR FAV. SM ACCOUNTS ARE OF THE PEOPLE WHO SO BRAVELY SHOW THEIR CELLULITE. THEIR ROLLS. THEIR UNPOSED BODIES. UNEXPECTED CAMERA ANGLES. ACNE AND SKIN TEXTURE. MESSY HOMES. PARENTING FAILS.

AND I THINK IT’S SAD THAT THIS HAS TO BE CONSIDERED AN ACT OF BRAVERY. IT QUITE LITERALLY JUST PROVES WE’VE GOTTEN SO FUCKING SIDETRACKED BY TRYING TO BE PERFECT THAT BEING [ HUMAN ], IN ALL ITS NATURAL STATES, IS CONSIDERED ‘BRAVE’. SHOULDN’T IT JUST - BE - ? AREN’T WE ALL HUMAN? DON’T WE ALL HAVE SKIN? DON’T WE ALL FUCK UP AT TIMES? DON’T WE ALL BATTLE EPISODES OF MENTAL/EMOTIONAL STRUGGLES?

YES!

WE DO. I DO . YOU DO. THEY DO. EVERY. FUCKING. PERSON. DOES.

I WILL NEVER PRETEND TO BE PERFECT OR PUT TOGETHER.

I STRUGGLE THROUGH THIS JOURNEY JUST AS MUCH AS THE NEXT.

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IN THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SUCCESSFUL, WHO HAVE MADE GREAT STRIDES IN THEIR JOURNEY, AND HAVE ACTUALLY OVERHAULED THEIR LIFE, IS THAT THEY DIDN’T QUIT – FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS.

CLIENTS, HERE’S MY ADVICE TO YOU…

FIND YOURSELF A COACH WHO IS WILLING TO MATCH YOUR BRAVERY.

IF YOU HAVEN’T HAD ENOUGH PRACTICE WITH SELF-LOVE, JUST YET, TO BE ABLE TO SHOW UP IN BRAVE-WAYS, GETCHU A COACH WHO WILL LEAD THE WAY.

COACHES HAVE TO WALK THE WALK, NOT JUST TALK THE TALK.

AND WHEN THE CONVERSATION IS ABOUT BEING HUMAN, STRUGGLING, PERSEVERING, THE GRIT IT TAKES TO CREATE CHANGE, TRIALS + COUNTLESS FAILURES… WE - COACHES - HAVE TO SHOWCASE THAT WE’RE ACTUALLY DOING THESE THINGS IN DAILY LIFE.

WE HAVE TO SHOW UP [ HUMAN ].